The Hyuuga Heart
by Hoshi-Gazer
Summary: She had been left with a weak heart as a child because of him, and now she has been left with a broken heart because of him.


I've always loved the pairing of Neji and Hinata together as a child and I will continue to love this beloved couple despite what has happened in the manga.

I couldn't decide between writing this in third-person or second-person, as you may or may not see...it was meant to be a bit like rambling. (Creative criticism is always welcomed and appreciated.)

Please tell me if you know who the creator of this breathtaking artwork is so I can credit him/her!

Disclaimer: I do not own _Naruto_.

* * *

_The Hyuuga Heart_

* * *

She can only cry.

With her face buried in her hands, Hinata cries silently in the corner of her room. Tears stream down her lovely face and she tries to keep her eyes closed to prevent any liquid from escaping, but her hands are soaked with tears. The silence is only interrupted with the occasional hiccup or sob, and she frantically tries to take deep breaths to calm herself down.

She refuses to withdraw her hand from hiding her face, but she could not bear to look at the world without him. The sunlight streams through a tiny slit between the curtains, and it is completely unfair. The weather should reflect her mood. She is crying, and she cannot stop crying; it should be raining, and the skies should be shrouded with clouds, but still, it is sunny.

Her lips tremble, and she has to bite her lips to prevent them from parting. She does not want her family to hear her, because they could not possibly comfort her. It is ironic, because only the one who has died could console her.

She misses him; her heart feels like it could never recover from shattering into pieces, and she would do anything if that meant she could see him at least one more time. She would gladly give up her own life if she could revive him, because he had died protecting her.

She had been the one meant to die. Hinata should be dead, and her beloved Neji nii-san should be alive. He had his whole life in front of him, and it is simply _impossible_; it is unbelievable, because how could he be dead? He had been the Hyuuga genius. He may have been born into the branch house, but everyone had acknowledged that Neji was the true heir. He had the talent, the intelligence, the ambition…but it has all disappeared along his physical body.

She makes the mistake of prying away her shaking fingers from her tear-stricken face, because she sees a glimpse of the family photos on her desk. A wail is pulled out of her chest before she could stop it, and she can only hope that it does not ring throughout the family estate.

She cannot recognize her formerly tidy room, for it is a disorderly mess. Her blankets are thrown onto the ground without any care; her pillows betray the tears she has shed, and the ground is littered with wads of tissues. She does not even have to open her eyes to reach the tissue box, because with the practiced motion of someone who is accustomed to crying, she can expertly pluck the tissue and proceed to blow her nose.

Only the photos remain in their original spots. If an outsider had observed the most recent photo, it would seem that Neji is frowning and annoyed with his crossed arms and impatient gaze, but Hinata knows him well enough that he is secretly pleased. She can see the slightest of a smile on his handsome face and the glimmer of happiness in his pale eyes. Hinata has a shy smile on her face with rosy cheeks as she looks at the camera, and Hanabi has a grin on her face that is stretched out almost to her ears.

In her favorite photo, Hinata and Neji had been children at her birthday celebration when they had first met. Neji had been openly smiling and he stood right next to Hinata, who still retained her shy smile and her rosy cheeks.

They had been so young, so innocent, and so…alive.

He had been alive, and he had been so happy, and he had died for her.

Hinata wishes to forget the memories, because the pain hurts far too much. If she could plunge her hand into her chest and rip out her heart, she would do it without hesitation. She squeezes her eyes shut as if she could prevent the memories from resurfacing, but it is hopeless.

They had been childhood friends in addition to being cousins. They had been close. Neji had sworn to protect Hinata with a confident smile, and she had whispered her thank you to him as they held hands under the twinkling stars. He had calloused hands even as a small boy, but she wouldn't have held any other hand. No other hand could contain as much warmth as his. She had felt like her heart could burst with happiness when he had squeezed her hand with that familiar smile, and she had told herself that she would love to live the rest of her life with him on that night.

That illusion had shattered on the night of Neji's father's sacrifice for the sake of the clan. Hinata had blamed herself for not protecting herself and for being born, because she obviously had been born into the wrong family. She had no right to be a Hyuuga. It is an honor to be a Hyuuga, and she had been born as the wrongful heir. She had stolen Neji's rightful place, for she had been deemed incompetent from a young age.

Neji had resented the Hyuuga family from that day, for not only had Hinata stolen his birthright and position, she had stolen his father. He could never forgive her, and she had accepted that.

They had held their distance from each other from that day. Neji had always been an ambitious child, and he couldn't help but grow up with aspiring dreams. He could never become a member of the main family, but he could train himself the secret Hyuuga techniques that are only known to the main family. He could fight his destiny as a caged bird.

Hinata could only watch him from a distance. He had grown farther and farther away from her, and she made no attempt to pull him towards her.

* * *

Her teammates had coaxed her to take the Chuunin exams. She would have refused if only the exams had not required that all three members must be present to take it, and the encouraging grin on Kiba's face and grim look on Shino's face convinced her that she had to_ attempt_ to change for the change to occur in the first place. She couldn't hold her teammates back when they always had patiently waited for her and cheered her on when they were on missions.

Her nature had never been ambitious; quite the contrary, she had been perfectly content as a wallflower and normal girl. At least, she had always tried to convince herself that she had no wish to change.

She had no intention of becoming a Chuunin. She had merely wanted to give her teammates a chance to become one.

Then she had to face the boy with the same eyes as her. Although they had inherited the same trademark eyes, she couldn't look him in the eyes. She had repeated to herself over and over again that she needn't be afraid because it was like looking into the mirror, but it hadn't worked.

He had attacked her relentlessly, but she was aware of the pain and sorrow in his eyes. Biting her tongue to prevent the words from spilling out, she had fought him to the best of her abilities and proved that there was no true distinction between the two counterparts of the clan.

_It's okay, Neji nii-san. You're not breaking your promise. You're not hurting me…you're hurting yourself._

Neji had been berated from spectators for channeling his anger on Hinata and not stopping when he had clearly won the battle. Others had claimed that it was Hinata's own fault for standing up when she had lost.

But the owners of the waggling tongues hadn't known that he had visited her every day in the hospital, staying by her side until she had woken up.

He could never forgive himself for that eventful day, as he had heard the doctor's suggestion that Hinata quit the path to become a full-fledged ninja. He had flinched when Hinata meekly asked for the reason, and clenched his fist when the doctor replied that the fight had left her with a shorter lifespan and a weak heart that could stop beating at any time.

* * *

On the other hand, Hinata had been thankful for that eventful day, for she had proved to herself that she had the ability to change and…her beloved Neji nii-san had forgiven her.

The two had grown closer since that day. Hinata had been aware from the start that he felt guilty for his actions although he hadn't apologized, but she had no need for one. There had been unspoken apologizes between the two, and she wouldn't have it any other way, for there could be no other way to mend a severed friendship than sincere apologies.

Neji would approach Hinata to offer to help her with her training, and Hinata would tiptoe to his room and ask if he could help her with something trivial (to him) such as flower pressing or grocery shopping. She could never help but laugh at his pained face; he had no interest in those things, but one look into Hinata's hopeful eyes and he could never say no.

Hinata had been overjoyed again to have him back by her side, but she longed for the warmth of his hand. But whenever she had those thoughts, she would shake her head to rid herself of those thoughts, because he would never offer his hand to her again.

* * *

Her father had forbidden her from joining the Shinobi War. He had feared for her safety and her life, but she had been stubborn, protesting that she could not sit still while her friends and family risked their lives. With no time to convince her father when the war had been so rapidly approaching, she had intended to run away when Neji had walked in with pressed lips.

Bowing respectfully to her father, he quietly murmured, "I haven't forgotten about my promise."

Her father had been torn between letting his first daughter fight valiantly in the war or forcing her to stay home, safe but unhappy, when he exhaled one of those sighs that convinced people that he had the world resting on his shoulders and gave his daughter his permission.

"Keep my daughter safe," he had ordered Neji, who hadn't missed the look in his pleading eyes.

"I will," Neji had promised, knowing that he would give up his life to protect her with a smile.

* * *

Hinata had been foolish as a child. She hadn't known that Neji been brandished with the Hyuuga seal on her birthday. It had been a curse for Neji, and he had compared himself to a bird trapped within a birdcage. He had longed to fly under the blue sky, but he could only be released when death came.

He had comforted her despite blood sputtering out of his mouth; he had been relying on shallow breaths to impart his last words.

"Don't cry, Hinata-sama…"

She had frantically shaken her head as if she could refuse to accept the reality in front of her, as if she could have prevented his impending departure. She couldn't look away from his kind eyes, no matter how much she had wanted to look away from him and wake up from her nightmare.

Because her beloved Neji nii-san couldn't be dying.

She had to be dreaming, because he couldn't be dying.

"I'm sorry for...everything…"

His hand had been lying there, smeared with blood, but still Hinata had longed to reach for it. She couldn't breathe; she had felt like she was dying along with him, and she inhaled loudly to continue breathing, and how could he be smiling up at the sky with such a content expression when he was going to leave her behind in a world that has no use for her when he is no longer there?

"Don't speak, please, Neji nii-san…" she had implored with a faint voice, crawling closer to him. She resists the urge to bury her head into his comfortable chest, because that would be admitting that he truly was leaving her behind.

_I love you, I love you, I love you, I would do anything for you, why did you have to protect me, Neji nii-san...?_

_I love you so much, why are you dying…?_

_ I love you more than anything in the world because you are my world; please don't leave me…please stay by my side…_

She had been crying with irrepressible sobs, and her heart had been crying; she could feel her heart breaking into pieces, he had been shattering her heart into millions and millions of pieces, and he had still been smiling.

"I…love you too…"

Her eyes widened, wondering if she had imagined his mouth forming those words. His smile had widened when her tears had momentarily ceased from forming, and he reached his hand up to her cheeks to wipe away her tears.

"My heart…has always belonged to you…"

And she had latched onto his hand, which had been almost inconspicuously wiggling, as if he had been beckoning for her to hold his hand. She could almost cry with joy because their hands had finally been intertwined again, and she wants to promise herself that she will never let go of his hand again, but she knows he will eventually let go. His warmth had been disappearing, but she ignores the sensation, because she will treasure his warmth for the remainder of her life.

"Hinata…"

She had smiled, even when his eyes fluttered close; she had smiled, even when he had let go of her hand; she had smiled, even when his warmth had almost completely disappeared, because she knows he would have wanted to see her smile rather than cry.

* * *

He had died with a smile, for he had been released from the birdcage.

He had died a free man.

* * *

She couldn't stay strong. She had emptied out her mind after his mark disappeared from his forehead to continue fighting in the war. She could have disregarded her life, for she had no use for it, but she couldn't bring herself to die to see him when there was a worried father and energetic little sister to return home to.

Every time she had brushed by death, she would see the departed face of the boy she had loved for almost her entire life shaking his head. He had warned her that her time has not come, and he would not extend her hand out to her again if she had recklessly thrown away her life.

So she had fought until the war ended with an emptied mind, and she couldn't recall anything about the war except for those pale eyes.

* * *

Huddled in the corner, she is wrecked with sobs that literally take her breath away. She reaches up for the picture, but her overflowing tears blinds her and she knocks over the frame, which clatters to the ground.

A moan escapes her, and she drops down to the ground with such hopelessness in her expression that even the most optimistic child would burst into tears upon seeing it. Pulling her knees towards her chest, she stays in that position as she mourns her lost love.

When the sobs subside after a period of time, she opens her eyes to gaze at the photo. There are traces of regret in her eyes, but a hint of a smile appears on her face when she catches her reflection in the mirror next to it. She shares the same eyes as him, and she is comforted by the thought that he may be watching over her through her eyes.

"I'll—I'll live, Neji nii-san," she cries out to him in vain, wishing for him to hear her. She listens for his approaching footsteps, because surely he must be coming to offer his assistance with her training. She waits for him, but she never hears any footsteps, and her sight goes blurry with her tears. "I'll live, because—because…you gave me this life."

She cannot keep herself from sitting anymore and she allows herself to fall onto the ground; she cannot comprehend that he no longer lives in her world, and she is so tired of waking up in the morning because that means she has to live another day in a world without him.

She hates dreaming when she finally cries herself to sleep because he doesn't appear in her dream, and maybe she is just being superstitious but that may indicate that he doesn't want to see her…she knows she is being selfish, but she longs to see him at least one more time.

"You sacrificed yourself to give me—me this life. I'll live until I can see—see you…"

She knows how pathetic she is being, and she is begging to someone who may never hear her words again, and she misses his kind smile that is only for her; she misses his quiet footsteps that are almost always pointed in her direction; she misses his rare chuckle and the warmth of his hand…

"I—I want to see you…Neji nii-san…I want to see you…why aren't you here?"

She is suffocating; she is drowning without being submerged in water…

"I—I miss you…I lo—love you…"

She remains on the ground, allowing her tears to fall above her cheeks and almost into her ear. She is so tired, she wants to drift away into an eternal slumber…maybe he'll appear there and she can always be with him…

"I promise…I'll live for myself…as—as well for you…I'll live…I promise…"

As her eyes close, there is a trace of a smile on her lips. Her tears trickle down her calm, serene face. She has finally fallen asleep, and she does not take the familiar hand that appears in her dream despite formerly wishing for it to appear. She knows that it is not time for her to take that warm hand, but when the time comes, she will always hold onto it and never let go.

Because her heart is his, and as long as it continues to beat, he will always be with her. Her life does not only belong to her now, but it belongs to him as well.

Because although he may have perished from the world, he will always live within her heart.


End file.
